As a queer person myself, I know how important it is to talk to someone who understands. I believe that aspects of our identity and lived experiences provide context that is pertinent to coaching topics. That being said, most of this page is just for educational purposes.
Surrounding ourselves with affirming people who understand and respect our gender identity, sexual orientation, and relationship style is important for good self-concept and mental health.
An idea created by society (A.K.A. a social construct) that tells us what certain genders are “supposed” to be like, based on a group of emotional, behavioral, and cultural characteristics (like how we express our feelings or how we dress).
A quality or feature that evokes interest, liking, or desire. This could relate to intellectual, emotional, romantic, or sexual attraction.
Polyamory is the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the informed consent of all partners involved.
Understanding intersectionality is essential to combatting the interwoven prejudices people face in their daily lives. Coaches should understand overlapping systems of oppression in order to better guide clients towards their goals.
Sexual education in the United States is appalling. Especially for neurodiverse people and members of the LGBT+ community. If you would like to learn more about sex and sexual health, let me know and I can connect you with pertinent resources.
An umbrella term used to describe people whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. Many transgender people will transition to align their gender expression with their gender identity, however, you do not have to transition in order to be transgender.
Used to describe people who experience their gender identity and/or gender expression as outside of the male-female gender binary. Many other words for identities outside the traditional categories of man and woman may be used, such as genderfluid, genderqueer, polygender, bigender, demi gender, or agender. These identities, while similar, are not necessarily interchangeable or synonymous.
Acronyms meaning “assigned female/male at birth” (also designated female/male at birth or female/male assigned at birth). No one, whether cis or trans, gets to choose what sex they’re assigned at birth. This term is preferred to “biological male/female”, “male/female bodied”, “natal male/female”, and “born male/female”, which are defamatory and inaccurate.
Transition: The process of shifting toward a gender role different from that assigned at birth, which can include social transition, such as new names, pronouns and clothing, and medical transition, such as hormone therapy or surgery.
Pronouns are used in every day speech and writing to take the place of people's names (ex: he, she, they). We frequently use them, without thinking about it, when speaking of someone in third person.
Different people have different pronouns. A key element of creating a safe space for people of all gender identities is the respectful use of gender pronouns.
The birth name of somebody who has changed their name. Most commonly attributed to trans people, but can be attributed to any person who has changed their name.
Gender dysphoria is the feeling of discomfort or distress that might occur in people whose gender identity differs from their sex assigned at birth. Dysphoria can be related to social perception and/or a persons physical body.
Typically refers to aspects of dysphoria that do not have to do directly with the body. Common types of social dysphoria relate to being called by one's dead name, or being referred to with incorrect pronouns, honorifics, or terminology. Social dysphoria not "lesser" than physical dysphoria, and if a person requests to use different names, pronouns, or terminology but does not express a desire to medically transition, they are no less transgender for that.
Gender dysphoria, with the suffix phoria: is a condition in which there is a conflict between the gendered parts of a person’s physical body and the gender they are. The mismatch between someone’s hormones, primary/secondary sex characteristics and gender identity can lead to distressing and uncomfortable feelings called “dysphoria.”
An experience trans and non-binary individuals feel instead of or along with gender dysphoria. A trans or non-binary person may feel gender euphoria by presenting as the gender they identify with and/or by using their preferred pronouns.
Exactly as the name states, people one chooses to be one’s family in place of blood family, because of shared values and emotional support.
Refers to a non-man identifying person who is emotionally, romantically, and/or physically attracted to other non-men identifying people. People who are lesbians need not have had any sexual experience; it is the attraction that helps determine orientation.
Refers to a non-woman identifying person who is emotionally, romantically, and/or physically attracted to other non-women identifying people. People who are gay need not have had any sexual experience; it is the attraction that matters.
(This flag is not frequently used.)
Used to describe people who have the capacity to form attraction and/or relationships to people of more than one gender.
Used to describe people who are attracted to people of any gender or to people regardless of their gender. Some people may use the words bisexual and pansexual interchangeably, and others use only one word exclusively to describe themselves.
Experiencing no sexual attraction towards person's of any gender. This term does not dictate how a person feels about having sex, if they ever want to, how active their libido is, whether or not they want romantic relationship, or a person's romantic orientation. As an umbrella term, any person who identifies as asexual or on the asexual spectrum.
Demisexuality is on the asexual spectrum. It is defined as not feeling sexual attraction, arousal, desire, or getting satisfaction from sex unless there is a deep bond between partners. It can also be used with other labels to identify you e.g. demipansexual, demibisexual, demisexual homoromantic, etc.
Colloquially, "gay" can be used to describe someone who is part of the LBGT+ community. It is more frequently used by LGB individuals.
An umbrella term that may be used to apply to a person who is not heterosexual, heteroromantic, AND cisgender. Was historically used as a slur, but was reclaimed by the LGBT+ community starting in the late 1980's. This term is more frequently used by gender diverse people.
Given the dismal display of sexual health education in school, not only are neurotypical heterosexual cisgender people lacking in proper education, but the informational divide is even stronger for neurodivergent and LGBT+ individuals. Sex-Ed in school does not cover most sexual activity and therefore does not provide information on emotional and physical safeguards against harm. In addition, many neurodivergent people need very direct, detailed information in order to understand something. If previous educators tried to avoid being blunt to avoid awkwardness, autistic people and other neurodivergent people UNEQUALLY suffer. I am not trained or certified in sexual-health. However, I can help clients access resources that might enable them to protect themselves and other moving forward.
Informed, voluntary, mutual, and enthusiastic agreement between people to engage in an activity. Consent cannot be given when an individual does not have the capacity or legal ability to consent (e.g., legally considered a minor, intoxicated by alcohol or other substances, other conditions that affect one’s ability to understand and/or agree to engage in a behavior). Additionally, convincing or manipulating someone into "consenting" is not consent.
Consent and communication are potentially the most important safeguards for emotional and physical wellbeing in relation to sexual activity. Communication between partners insures that everyone is on the same page and that there is mutual understanding of boundaries and aspirations.
Sexually Transmitted Infections (previously called STD's) are viral/bacterial infections that may be transmitted through multiple kinds of sex acts. Some STI's can only be transmitted through bodily fluids, while others simply require skin to skin contact.
HIV has been, and still is, highly stigmatized. However, with new biomedical-technologies (like PreP, PEP, & ART), chances of passing it on to someone else can be incredibly low with proper protective measures. In addition, contracting HIV is no longer a death-sentence and can be regulated very well even after contracting it.
Kink and BDSM is the consensual practice of alternative psychological and/or sensory play that may be between two or more people or by one person by themselves. Play can improve intimacy, release tension, but also has more risk of harm. If you would like more resources on safe play, let me know.
Relationship styles are the manner in which relationships are arranged and designed. Some people prefer to be monogamous, where they reserve intimacy for one partner. Some people prefer to not be intimate (emotionally and/or physically) with another person. Other people may engage in more than one intimate relationship at a time, with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. This is called polyamory. Polyamorous relationships are less popular among the general population. Having someone to talk to who understands polyamory is very important.
All relationship styles are completely valid as long as they are conducted with respect for others--whether this be monogamy or polyamory. As a coach, my job is to help you reach your personal goals by teaching relevant skills. Context is important to best be able to teach these relevant skills.
Intersectional theory asserts that people are often disadvantaged by multiple sources of oppression: their race, class, gender identity, sexual orientation, religion, and other identity markers. Intersectionality recognizes that identity markers (e.g. “woman” and “black”) do not exist independently of each other, and that each informs the others, often creating a complex convergence of oppression.
Systemic oppression is systematic and has historical antecedents; it is the intentional disadvantaging of groups of people based on their identity while advantaging members of the dominant group (gender, race, class, sexual orientation, language, etc.).
A particular benefit, advantage, or Immunity enjoyed by a person or class of people that is not shared with others. A power of exemption against or beyond the law. It is not a right but, rather, exempts one from the performance of a duty, obligation, or liability.
Attitudes that prejudge a group, usually negatively and not based on facts. Lumping together people with certain characteristics as an undifferentiated group without considering individual differences. This occurs at an individual, interpersonal, institutional, and structural level.
Comprised of our private beliefs and biases about minority groups, influenced by our culture. This can take many different forms including: prejudice towards others; internalized oppression—the negative beliefs about oneself; or internalized privilege—beliefs about superiority or entitlement.
This is the bias that occurs when individuals interact with others and their personal discriminatory beliefs affect their public interactions.
This refers to the unfair policies and discriminatory practices of particular institutions (schools, workplaces, etc.) that routinely produce inequitable outcomes for marginalized people and advantages for people who hold privilege. Individuals within institutions take on the power of the institution when they reinforce inequities.
This involves the cumulative and compounding effects of an array of societal factors, including the history, culture, ideology and interactions of institutions and policies that systematically privilege some and disadvantage minority groups.
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